Brittany Anne’s Story

It feels like my mother hood is thrown on pause all because accusations. Don’t get me wrong I love being a mother at 22. The new born phase was my favorite. I still remember the schedule my son chose. I went from making 4 am bottles when he was 6 months to waking up and panicking because I had no reason to wake up anymore. I went from picking him up and holding him because I knew he needed a nap. To holding a pillow and staring at the wall telling myself “atleast you get visits on Wednesdays and Thursdays”. Everyone tells me “atleast you get to see him”. No one seems to understand the pain behind those words even though it they mean well. But it’s the fact that every time my son would fall asleep on my chest it’s the only weight I’ll ever bare on my chest. It’s the pain of looking at your fiancé, a full blown man. Bursting into distraught tears hoping he’ll have his family back. ”why is a 22 year old woman in this predicament” you may ask. Well. Friends don’t call cps on you because of an argument you had with your loved one. I’m an over thinker. And I was naive 7 months ago. If I don’t have the future figured out I wouldnt back down till my point was across. To make more sense of it. I’m a victim of cps as well. They failed me. I was molested. Screamed at and was always told “you better figure it out” to which traumatized me to where I always try and figure it out. They failed my fiancé 10 years ago. His son died in the system here in Fresno…And now. All I get from my case worker is” since your son is only one he won’t remember all this, you’ll get him back in 6 months” But I will. I’m going to remember my motherhood being on pause because a terrible person exhaderates and yet is still allowed to have her kids around her narcissism. I’ll refuse to stoop down to this level of pain. This pain. Weights in everyone here. You guys are amazing parents, amazing mothers, amazing fathers. If I could drill this into my head I would. But don’t give up. Your babies need you. Fight. And fight long and hard because even though they tell you otherwise. You still have to wake up to that pillow or that wall, mean while that case worker is giving you a run for your money, your mentality and draining everything else you got. One lady told me on here “I’m here to laugh at all of you who are such crap parents, someone had to raise your kids”. Correction “you’re” and I’ll be damned if anyone gets told that. We stand by our children and other mothers who’ve suffered. I stand by this group. Even when I get my baby back. I’ll still stand by this group. Just to tell people. I made it.. your going to get through this cause if you don’t believe in you’re self I will. We all will❤️

Thank you.